Yet another Tignes Ski Holiday!

It’s that time of year again. The boys have returned from another jolly to Tignes, a year on from the epic ski holiday that made us famous amongst the locals of Tignes le Lavachet.

This year the numbers were cut to just three – but that didn’t stop the banter, abuse and ‘professional chat’. Yes the boys were once again let loose on a boozy week, free from their oh-so responsible jobs.

As with last years Tignes ski holiday, this was again booked as a late deal through Ski World. Although not as professional as Ski Olympic (it was £100 less) the chalet was nice and the 3 course meal each night filled an energetic stomach.

If last years ski holiday set the standards for drinking, this holiday surpassed last years. Free wine all night with dinner didn’t help…..neither did the task of beating the chalets drinking record – 80 litres of wine in one week. It was only rude not to try.

Speaking of records, we were not alone in Chalet Les Martins this year. Accompanied by a another group of 3 and a group of 4, this all blokes chalet gave the 80 litres a good shot (we couldn’t be beaten by Ozzies or Kiwi’s – leave that to the cricketers). Anyhow back to the records. This year it was alleged that one of our fellow chalet guests holds a Guinness World Record for the Longest Nipple Hair. No joke.

We’ll come back to the booze in a second. First let’s concentrate on the snow conditions. Prior to setting off we chose Tignes again because it is a snow sure resort. The coach transfer from Lyon is always a good indication of how much snow we are likely to see as you can check the level of snow at Bourg St. Maurice (the final station on the snow train line). There was none. Oh dear.

Needless to say the first couple of days in Tignes was not the best skiing, although the piste bashers did their best to sure up the slopes. Then, as predicted, the clouds moved in and the snow fell non-stop from Monday afternoon all the way through to Tuesday morning. Our first run down to Tignes Les Brevieres was very deep powder, and most enjoyable run of the week. Sorted for the rest of the holiday!

As it happens we also planned a couple of fancy dress nights out – well, it would be rude not too as it was Burn’s Night on the 25th January and Australia Day on the 26th. So we came prepared.

Each morning (even at the airport) we started breakfast with a Bloody Mary, and the morning of the 25th was no different – except we wore kilts and Jimmy hats to breakfast. In fact we skied in Jimmy hats and kilts all day. Great stuff. I must point out we didn’t ski in just kilts – falling over into snow wearing nothing but your kilt could be very cold on you crown jewels. Instead we skied with the kilts over the salopettes – which leads into the story of the holiday….

Up to the Thursday the week had been relatively uneventful on the slopes. The second lift we took was the Aiguille Percee and at the top my kilt somehow got caught on the chair! As the others skied off I tried to wriggle free and ended up ripping the kilt and tripping the safety bar before being dragged off the mountain. If that wasn’t bad enough I had to wear the kilt like a nappy the rest of the day! Shameless.

One of our party (who will remain nameless) was given a ‘deep tissue’ massage mid-morning on the Thursday. He was so ‘relaxed’ apparently that he had to abuse himself and then sleep for the rest of the day! The masseuse was called Robbie.

Onto the weeks nightly entertainment. Following copious amounts of wine over dinner we headed out into Tignes le Lac. This year Angelbar and Yeti bar were top dogs, but Le Brasero again takes the plaudits for Apres-Ski bar of the Year 2007. Thanks again Nic and Karen!

As with one of our previous ski holidays, Roehampton University ski club were on their annual trip, which was always nice for banter and drinking sessions. Shame about the projectile vomit photo though eh?!

Drink of the week has to be the Mint Aero, discovered and served in Jam Bar. Vodka, Kahlua, Creme de Menthe and topped up with milk. Delightful.

Joke of the Week (and told to various strangers on ski lifts);

It’s bin day at the Close and number 26 has forgot to put his bin out so the bin man knocks at the door and a Chinese man answers.

Binman: “Where’s your bin mate?”
Chineseman: “I been on toywet..”
Binman: “No, no. Where’s you wheelie bin?”
Chineseman: “Orr, you got me, I wheelie been avin w**k”

Chuckle. The best wheelie bin joke ever. And so another Tignes ski holiday comes to an end. Bring on next year!